The Consolidator by Daniel Defoe
If he has any Title, 'tis from the Gift of his Father
'If he has any Title, 'tis from the Gift of his Father and elder Brother; if the Gift of a Crown is no good Title, then his Title cannot be good; If the Gift of a Crown is a good Title, then the Crown was given away before, and so neither he nor his Father has any Title.
'Let him that can answer these Paradoxes defend his Title if he can; and what shall we now say to the War in Ebronia, only this, that they are going to fight for the Crown of Ebronia? and to take it away from one that has no Right to it, to give it to one that has a less Right than he, and 'tis to be fear'd that if Heaven be Righteous, 'twill succeed accordingly.
'The Gentlemen of Letters who have wrote of this in our Lunar World, on the Subject of the Gallunarians Title, have took a great deal of Liberty in the Eagle's behalf, to Banter and Ridicule the Gallunarian sham of a Title, as if it were a pretence too weak for any Prince to make use of, to talk of Kings giving their Crowns by Will.
Kingdoms and Governments, says a Learned Lunar author, are not things of such indifferent Value to be given away, like a Token left for a Legacy. If any Prince has ever given or transferr'd his Government, it has been done by solemn Act, and the People have been call'd to assent and confirm such Concessions.
'Then the same Author goes on, to Treat the King of Gallunaria with a great deal of Severity, and exposes his Politicks, that he should think to put upon the Moon with so empty, so weak, so ridiculous a Pretence, as the Will of a weak Headed Prince, who neither had a Right to give his Crown, nor a Brain to know what he was doing, and he laughs to think what the King of Gallunaria would have said to have such a dull Trick as that, put upon him in any such Case.
'Now when we have been so Witty upon this very Article, of giving away the Crown to the King of Gallunaria's Grandson, as an incongruous and ridiculous Thing, shall we come to make the same Incongruity be the Foundation of a War?
'With what Justice can we make a War for a Prince who has only a good Title, by Vertue of the self same Action which makes the Grandson of his Enemy have a bad Title.
'I always thought we had a Just Ground to make War on Ebronia, as we were bound by former Alliances to assist the Eagle in the recovery of it in case of the death of the late King of that Country.
'But now the Eagle has refus'd the Succession, and his Eldest Son has refus'd it, I would be glad to see it prov'd how the second Son can have a Title, and yet the other King have no Title.
'What a strange sort of a Thing is the Crown of Ebronia, that two of the greatest Princes of the Lunar World should Fight, not who shall have it, for neither of them will accept of it, but who shall have the Power of giving it away.
'Here are four Princes refuse it; the King of Gallunaria's Sons had a Title in Right of their Mother, and 'twas not the former Renunciations that would have barr'd them, if this softer way had not been found out; for time was it has been pleaded on behalf of the eldest Son of the Gallunarian King, that his Mother could not give away his Right before he was born.
'Then the Eagle has a Right, and under him his eldest Son; and none of all these four will accept of the Crown; I believe all the Moon can't find four more that would refuse it.
'Now, tho' none of these think it worth accepting themselves, yet they fall out about the Right of giving it away. The King of Gallunaria will not accept of it himself, but he gets a Gift from the last Incumbent. This, says the Eagle, can't be a good Title, for the late King had no Right to make a Deed of Gift of the Crown, since a King is only Tennant for Life, and Succession of Crowns either must descend by a Lineal Progression in the Right of Primogeniture, or else they lose the Tenure, and devolve on the People.
'Now as this Argument holds good the Eagle has an undoubted Title to the Crown of Ebronia: But then, says his Eaglish Majesty, I cannot accept of the Crown my self for I am the Eagle, and my eldest Son has two Kingdoms already, and is in a fair way to be Eagle after me, and 'tis not worth while for him, but I have a second Son, and we will give it him.
'Now may the King of Gallunaria say, if one Gift is good, another is good, and ours is the first Gift, and therefore we will keep it; and tho' I solemnly declare I should be very sorry to see the Crown of Ebronia rest in the House of the Gallunarian, because our Trade will suffer exceedingly; yet if never so much damage were to come of it, we ought to do Justice in the World; if neither the Eagle nor his eldest Son will be King of Ebronia, but a Deed of Gift shall be made, the first Gift has the Right, for nothing can be given away to two People at once, and 'tis apparent that the late King had as much Right to give it away as any Body.
'The poor Ebronians are in a fine Condition all this while, that no Body concerns them in the Matter; neither Party has so much as thought it worth while to ask them who they would have to Reign over them, here has been no Assembly, no Cortez, no Meeting of the People of Ebronia, neither Collectively or Representatively, no general Convention of the Nobility, no House of Feathers, but Ebronia lies as the spoil of the Victor wholly passive, and her People and Princes, as if they were wholly unconcern'd, lie by and look on, whoever is like to be King, they are like to suffer deeply by the Strife, and yet neither side has thought fit to consult them about it.
'The conclusion of the whole Matter is in short this, here is certainly a false Step taken, how it shall be rectify'd is not the present Business, nor am I Wise enough to Prescribe. One Man may do in a Moment what all the Lunar World cannot undo in an Age. 'Tis not be thought the Eagle will be prevail'd on to undo it, nay he has Sworn not to alter it.
'I am not concern'd to prove the Title of the present King of Ebronia, no, nor of the Eagles neither; but I think I can never be answer'd in this, that this Gift of the Eagles to his second Son is preposterous, inconsistent with all his Claim to the Crown, and the greatest confirmation of the Title of his Enemy that it was possible to give, and no doubt the Gallunarians will lay hold of the Argument.
'If this Prince was the Eagle's eldest Son, he might have a Just Right from the concession of his Father, because the Right being inherent, he only receiv'd from him an Investiture of Time, but as this young Gentleman is a second Son he has no more Right, his elder Brother being alive, than your Grand Seignior, or Czar of Muscovy in your World.
'Let them Fight then for such a Cause, who valuing only the Pay, make War a Trade, and Fight for any thing they are bid to Fight for, and as such value not the Justice of the War, nor trouble their Heads about Causes and Consequences, so they have their Pay, 'tis well enough for them.
'But were the Justice of the War examin'd, I can see none, this Declaring a new King who has no Right but by a Gift, and pulling down one that had it by a Gift before, has so much Contradiction in it, that I am afraid no Wise Man, or Honest Man will embark in it.
Your
Humble Servant,
The Man in the Moon.
I wou'd have no Body now pretend to scandalize the Writer of this Letter, which being for the Gallunarians, for no Man in the Moon had more Aversion for them than he, but he would have had the War carry'd on upon a right Bottom, Justice and Honesty regarded in it, and as he said often, they had no need to go out of the Road of Justice, for had they made War in the great Eagle's Name all had been well.
Nor was he a false Prophet, for as this was ill grounded, so it was as ill carry'd on, met with Shocks, Rubs and Disappointments every way. The very first Voyage the new King made, he had like to ha' been drown'd by a very violent Tempest, things not very usual in those Countries; and all the Progress that had been made in his behalf when I came away from that Lunar World, had not brought him so much as to be able to set his Foot upon his new Kingdom of Ebronia, but his Adversary by wonderful Dexterity, and the Assistance of his old Grandfather the Gallunarian Monarch, beat his Troops upon all Occasions, invaded his Ally that pretended to assist him, and kept a quiet Possession of all the vast Ebronian Monarchy; and but at last by the powerful Diversion of the Solunarian Fleet, a Shock was given them on another Side, which if it had not happen'd, it was thought the new King had been sent home again Re Infecta.
Being very much Shockt in my Judgment of this Affair, by these unanswerable Reasons; I enquir'd of my Author who were the Directors of this Matter? he told me plainly it was done by those great States Men, which the Solunarian Queen had lately very Justly turn'd out, whose Politicks were very unaccountable in a great many other things, as well as in that.
'Tis true, the War was carry'd on under the new Ministry, and no War in the World can be Juster, on account of the Injustice and Encroachment of the Gallunarian Monarch.
The Queen therefore and her present Ministers, go on with the War on Principles of Confederacy; 'tis the business of the Solunarians to beat the Invader out, and then let the People come and make a fair Decision who they will have to Reign over them.
This indeed justifies the War in Ebronia to be Right, but for the Personal Proceedure as before, 'tis all Contradiction and can never be answer'd.
I hope no Man will be so malicious, as to say I am hereby reflecting on our War with Spain. I am very forward to say, it is a most Just and Reasonable War, as to paralels between the Case of the Princes, in defending the Matter of Personal Right, Hic labor, Hoc opus.
Thus however you see Humanum eft Errare, whether in this World or in the Moon, 'tis all one, Infallibility of Councels any more than of Doctrine, is not in Man.
The Reader may observe, I have formerly noted there was a new Consolidator to be Built, and observ'd what struggle there was in the Moon about choosing the Feathers.
I cannot omit some further Remarks here, as
1. It is to be observ'd, that this last Consolidator was in a manner quite worn out.----- It had indeed continu'd but 3 Year, which was the stated Time by Law, but it had been so Hurry'd, so Party Rid, so often had been up in the Moon, and made so many such extravagant Flights, and unnecessary Voyages thither, that it began to be exceedingly worn and defective.
2. This occasion'd that the light fluttering Feathers, and the fermented Feathers made strange Work of it; nay, sometimes they were so hot, they were like to ha' ruin'd the whole Fabrick, and had it not been for the great Feather in the Center, and a few Negative Feathers who were Wiser than the rest, all the Machines had been broke to pieces, and the whole Nation put into a most strange Confusion.
Sometimes their Motion was so violent an precipitant, that there was great apprehensions of its being set on Fire by its own Velocity, for swiftness of Motion is allow'd by the Sages and so so's to produce Fire as in Wheels, Mills and several sorts of Mechanick Engines which are frequently Fir'd, and so in Thoughts, Brains, Assemblies, Consolidators, and all such combustible Things.
Indeed these things were of great Consequence, and therefore require some more nice Examination than ordinary, and the following Story will in part explain it.
Among the rest of the Broils they had with the Grandees, one happen'd on this occasion.
One of the Tacking Feathers being accidentally met by a Grandee's Footman, whom it seems wanted some Manners, the Slave began to haloo him in the Street, with a Tacker, a Tacker, a Feather-Fool, a Tacker, &c. and so brought the Mob about him, and had not the Grandee himself come in the very interim, and rescu'd the Feather, the Mob had demolisht him, they were so enrag'd.
As this Gentleman-Feather was rescu'd with great Courtesie by the Grandee, taken into his Coach and carry'd home to his House, he desir'd to speak with the Footman.
The Fellow being call'd in, was ask't by him who employ'd him, or set him on to offer him this Insult? the Footman being a ready bold Fellow, told him no Body Sir, but you are all grown so ridiculous to the whole Nation, that if the 134 of you were left but to us Footmen, and it was not in more respect to our Masters, than you, we should Cure you of ever coming into the Consolidator again, and all the People in the Moon are of our Mind.
But says the Feather, why do you call me Fool too? why Sir, says he, because no Body could ever tell us what it was you drove at, and we ha' been told you never knew your selves; now if one of you Tacking Feathers would but tell the World what your real Design was, they would be satisfy'd, but to be leaders in the Consolidator, and to Act without Meaning, without Thought or Design, must argue your' Fools, or worse, and you will find all the Moon of my Mind.
But what if we had a meaning, says the Feather-Man? why then, says the Footman, we shall leave calling you Fools, and call you Knaves, for it could never be an Honest one, so that you had better stand as you do: and I make it out thus.
You knew, that upon your Tacking the Crolians to the Tribute Bill, the Grandees must reject both, they having declar'd against reading any Bills Tackt together, as being against their Priviledges. Now if you had any Design, it must be to have the Bill of Tribute lost, and that must be to disappoint all the publick Affairs, expose the Queen, break all Measures, discourage the Confederates, and putting all things backward, bring the Gallunarian Forces upon them, and put all Solunaria into Confusion. Now Sir, says he, we cannot have such course Thoughts of you, as to believe you could design such dark, mischievous things as these, and therefore we chose to believe you all Fools, and not fit to be put into a Consolidator again; than Knaves and Traytors to your Country, and consequently fit for a worse Place.
The plainness of the Footman was such, and so unanswerable, that his Master was fain to check him, and so the Discourse broke off, and we shall leave it there, and proceed to the Story.
The Men of the Feather as I have noted, who are represented here by the Consolidator, fell all together by the Ears, and all the Moon was in a combustion. The Case was as follows.
They had three times lost their quallifying Law, and particularly they observ'd the Grandees were the Men that threw it out, and notwithstanding the Plot of the Tackers, as they call'd them, who were as I noted, observ'd to be in Conjunction with the Crolians, yet the Law always past the Feathers, but still the Grandees quasht it.
To show their Resentment at the Grandees, they had often made attempts to mortify them, sometimes Arraigning them in general, sometimes Impeaching private Members of their House, but still all wou'd not do, the Grandees had the better of them, and going on with Regularity and Temper, the Consolidators or Feather-Men always had the worst, the Grandees had the applause of all the Moon, had the last Blow on every Occasion, and the other sunk in their Reputation exceedingly.
It is necessary to understand here, that the Men of the Feather serve in several Capacities, and under several Denominations, and act by themselves, singly consider'd, they are call'd the Consolidator, and the Feathers we mention'd abstracted from their Persons, make the glorious Engine we speak of, and in which, when any suddain Motion takes them, they can all shut themselves up, and away for the Moon.
But when these are joyn'd with the Grandees, and the Queen, so United, they make a great Cortez, or general Collection of all the Governing Authority of the Nation.
When this last Fraction happen'd, the Men of the Feather were under an exceeding Ferment, they had in some Passion taken into their Custody, some good Honest Lunar Country-Men, for an Offence, which indeed few but themselves ever immagin'd was a Crime, for the poor Men did nothing but pursue their own Right by the Law.
'Tis thought the Men of the Feather soon saw they were in the Wrong, but acted like some Men in our World, that when they make a mistake, being too Proud to own themselves in the wrong, run themselves into worse Errors to mend it.
So these Lunar Gentlemen disdaining to have it said they could be mistaken, committed two Errors to conceal one, 'till at last they came to be laught at by all the Moon.
These poor Men having lain a long while in Prison, for little or no Crime, at last were advis'd to apply themselves to the Law for Discharge; the Law would fairly have Discharg'd them; for in that Country, no Man may be Imprison'd, but he must in a certain Time be Tryed, or let go upon pledges of his Friends, much like our giving Bail on a Writ of Habeas Corpus; but the Judges, whether over-aw'd by the Feathers, or what was the Cause, Authors have not determin'd, did not care to venture Discharging them.
The poor Men thus remanded, apply'd themselves to the Grandees who were then Sitting, and who are the Soveraign Judicature of the Country, and before whom Appeals lie from all Courts of Justice. The Grandees as in Duty bound, appear'd ready to do them Justice, but the Queen was to be apply'd to, first to grant a Writ, or a Warrant for a Writ, call'd in their Country a Writ of Follies, which is as much as to say Mistakes.
The Consolidators foreseeing the Consequence, immediately apply'd themselves to the Queen with an Address, the Terms of which were so Undu----l and Unman--ly, that had she not been a Queen of unusual Candor and Goodness, she would have Treated them as they deserv'd, for they upbraided her with their Freedom and Readiness in granting her Supplies, and therefore as good as told her they expected she should do as they desir'd.
These People that knew the Supplies given, were from necessity, Legal, and for their own Defence, while the granting their Request, must have been Illegal, Arbitrary, a Dispensing with the Laws, and denying Justice to her Subjects, the very thing they ruin'd her Father for, were justly provok'd to see their good Queen so barbarously Treated.
The Queen full of Goodness and Calmness, gave them a gentle kind Answer, but told them she must be careful to Act with due Regard to the Laws, and could not interrupt the course of Judicial Proceedings; and at the same time granted the Writ, having first consulted with her Council, and receiv'd the Opinion of all the Judges, that it was not only Safe, but Just and Reasonable, and a Right to her People which she could not deny.
This Proceeding gall'd the Feathers to the quick, and finding the Grandees resolv'd to proceed Judicially upon the said Writ of Follies, which if they did, the Prisoners would be deliver'd and the Follies fixt upon the Feathers, they sent their Poursuivants took them out of the Common Prison, and convey'd them separately and privately into Prisons of their own.
This rash and unprecedented Proceedings, pusht them farther into a Labrinth, from whence it was impossible they could ever find their way out, but with infinite Loss to their Reputation, like a Sheep in a thick Wood, that at every Briar pulls some of the Wool from her Back, till she comes out in a most scandalous Pickle of Nakedness and Scratches.
The Grandees immediately publisht six Articles in Vindication of the Peoples Right, against the assum'd Priviledges of the Feathers, the Abstract of which is as follows.
1. That the Feathers had no Right to Claim, or make any new Priviledges for themselves, other than they had before.
2. That every Freeman of the Moon had a Right to repel Injury with Law.
3. That Imprisoning the 5 Countrymen by the Feathers, was assuming a new Priviledge they had no Right to, and a subjecting the Subjects Right to their Arbitrary Votes.
4. That a Writ of Deliverance, or removing the Body, is the legal Right of every Subject in the Moon, in order to his Liberty, in case of Imprisonment.
5. That to punish any Person for assisting the Subjects, in procuring or prosecuting the said Writ of Deliverance, is a breach of the Laws, and a thing of dangerous Consequence.
6. That a Writ of Follies is not a Grace, but a Right, and ought not to be deny'd to the Subject.
These Resolves struck the languishing Reputation of the Feathers with the dead Palsie, and they began to stink in the Nostrils of all the Nations in the Moon.
But besides this, they had one strange effect, which was a prodigious disappointment to the Men of the Feather.
I had observ'd before, that there was to be a new Set of Feathers, provided in order to Building another Consolidator, according to a late Law for a new Engine every three Years. Now several of these Men of the Feather, who thought their Feathers capable of serving again, had made great Interest, and been at great Cost to have their old Feathers chosen again, but the People had entertain'd such scoundrel Opinions of these Proceedings, such as Tacking, Consolidating, Imprisoning Electors, Impeaching without Tryal, Writs of Follies and the like, that if any one was known to be concern'd in any of these things, no Body would Vote for him.
The Gentlemen were so mortify'd at this, that even the hottest High-Church Solunarian of them all, if he put in any where to be re-chosen, the first thing he had to do, was to assure the People he was no Tacker, none of the 134, and a vast deal of difficulty they had to Purge themselves of this blessed Action, which they us'd to value themselves on before, as their Glory and Merit.
Thus they grew asham'd of it as a Crime, got Men to go about to vouch for them to the Country People, that they were no Tackers, nay, one of them to clear himself loudly forswore it, and taking a Glass of Wine wisht it might never pass thro' him, if he was a Tacker, tho' all Men suspected him to be of that Number too, he having been one of the forwardest that way on all Occasions, of any Person among the South Folk of the Moon.
In like manner, one of the Feathers for the middle Province of the Country, who us'd to think it his Honour to be for the qualifying Law, seeing which way the humour of the Country ran, took as much Pains now to tell the People he was no Tacker, as he did before, to promise them that he would do his utmost to have the Crolians reduc'd, and that Bill to pass, the Reason of which was plain, that he saw if it should be known he was a Tacker, he should never have his Feather return'd to be put into the Consolidator.
The Heats and Feuds that the Feathers and the Grandees were now run into, began to make the latter very uneasie, and they sent to the Grandees to hasten them, and put them in mind of passing some Laws they had sent up to them for raising Mony, and which lay before them, knowing that as soon as those Laws were past, the Queen would break 'em up, and they being very willing to be gone, before these things came too far upon the Stage, urg'd them to dispatch.
But the Grandees resolving to go thoro' with the Matter, sent to them to come to a Treaty on the foot of the six Articles, and to bring any Reasons they could, to prove the Power they had to Act as they had done with the Country-men, and with the Lawyers they had put in Prison for assisting them.
The Feathers were very backward and stiff about this Conference, or Treaty, 'till at last the Grandees having sufficiently expos'd them to all the Nation, the Bills were past, the Grandees caus'd the particulars to be Printed, and a Representation of their Proceedings, and the Feathers foul Dealings to the Queen of the Country, and so her Majesty sent them Home.
But if they were asham'd of being call'd Tackers before, they were doubly mortify'd at this now, nay the Country resented it so exceedingly, that some of them began to consider whether they should venture to go Home or no; Printed Lists of their Names were Publish'd, tho' we do not say they were true Lists, for it was a hard thing to know which were true Lists, and which were not, nor indeed could a true List be made, no Man being able to retain the exact Account of who were the Men in his Memory.
For as there were 134 Tackers, so there were 141 of these, who by a Name of Distinction, were call'd Lebusyraneim, in English Ailesbury-men.
The People were so exasperated against these, that they express'd their Resentment upon all Occasions, and least the Queen should think that the Nation approv'd the Proceedings, they drew up a Representation or Complaint, full of most dutiful Expressions to their Queen, and full of Resentment against the Feathers, the Copy of which being handed about the Moon the last time I was there, I shall take the Pains to put it into English in the best manner I can, keeping as near the Originial as possible.
If any Man shall now wickedly suggest, that this Relation has any retrospect to the Affairs of England, the Author declares them malitious Misconstruers of his honest Relation of Matters from this remote Country, and offers his positive Oath for their Satisfaction, that the very last Journy he made into those Lunar Regions, this Matter was upon the Stage, of which, if this Treatise was not so near its conclusion, the Reader might expect a more particular Account.
If there is any Analogy or similitude between the Transactions of either World, he cannot account for that, 'tis application makes the Ass.
And yet sometimes he has thought, as some People Fable of the Platonick Year, that after such a certain Revolution of Time, all Things are Transacted over again, and the same People live again, are the fame Fools, Knaves, Philosophers and Mad-men they were before, tho' without any Knowledge of, or Retrospect to what they acted before; so why should it be impossible, that as the Moon and this World are noted before to be Twins and Sisters, equal in Motion and in Influence, and perhaps in Qualities, the same secret Power should so act them, as that like Actions and Circumstances should happen in all Parts of both Worlds at the same time.
I leave this Thought to the improvement of our Royal Learned Societies of the Anticacofanums, Opposotians, Periodicarians, Antepredestinarians, Universal Soulians, and such like unfathomable People, who, without question, upon mature Enquiry will find out the Truth of this Matter.
But if any one shall scruple the Matter of Fact as I have here related it, I freely give him leave to do as I did, and go up to the Moon for a Demonstration; and if upon his return he does not give ample Testimony to the Case in every part of it, as here related, I am content to pass for the Contriver of it my self, and be punish'd as the Law shall say I deserve.
Nor was this all the publick Matters, in which this Nation of Solunarians took wrong Measures, for about this time, the Misunderstandings between the Southern and Northern Men began again, and the Solunarians made several Laws, as they call'd them, to secure themselves against the Dangers they pretended might accrue from the new Measures the Nolunarians had taken; but so unhappily were they blinded by the strife among themselves, and by-set by Opinion and Interest, that every Law they made, or so much as attempted to make, was really to the Advantage, and to the Interest of the Northern-Men, and to their own loss; so Ignorantly and Weak-headed was these High Solunarian Church-Men in the true Interest of their Country, led by their implacable Malice at Crolianism, which as is before noted, was the Establisht Religion of that Country.
But as this Matter was but Transacting when I took the other Remarks, and that I did not obtain a full Understanding of it, 'till my second Voyage, I refer it to a more full Relation of my farther Travels that way, when I shall not fail to give a clear State of the Debate of the two Kingdoms, in which the Southern Men had the least Reason, and the worst Success that ever they had in any Affair of that Nature for many Years before.
It was always my Opinion in Affairs on this side the Moon, that tho' sometimes a foolish Bolt may hit the Point, and a random Shot kill the Enemy, yet that generally Discretion and Prudence of Mannagement, had the Advantage, and met with a proportion'd Success, find things were, or were not happy, in their Conclusion as they were, more or less wisely Contriv'd and Directed.
And tho' it may not be allow'd to be so here, yet I found it more constantly so there, Effects were true to their Causes, and confusion of Councils never fail'd in the Moon to be follow'd by distracted and destructive Consequences.
This appear'd more eminently in the Dispute between these two Lunar Nations we are speaking of; never were People in the Moon, whatever they might be in other Places, so divided in their Opinions about a matter of such Consequence. Some were for declaring War immediately upon the Northern Men, tho' they could show no Reason at all why, only because they would not do as they would have 'em; a parcel of poor Scoundrel, Scabby Rogues, they ought to be made submit, what! won't they declare the same King as we do! hang them Rogues! a pack of Crolian Prestarian Devils, we must make them do it, down with them the shortest Way, declare War immediately, and down with them.------ Nay some were for falling on them directly, without the formality of declaring War.
Others, more afraid than hurt, cry'd out Invasions, Depredation, Fire and Sword, the Northern Men would be upon them immediately, and propos'd to Fortify their Frontiers, and file off their Forces to the Borders; nay, so apprehensive did those Men of Prudence pretend to be, that they order'd Towns to be Fortify'd 100 Mile off of the Place, when all this while the poor Northern Men did nothing but tell them, that unless they would come to Terms, they would not have the same King as they, and they took some Measures to let them see they did not purpose to be forc'd to it.
Another sort of Wiser Men than these, propos'd to Unite with them, hear their Reasons, and do them Right. These indeed were the only Men that were in the right Method of concluding this unhappy Broil, and for that Reason, were the most unlikely to succeed.
But the Wildest Notion of all, was, when some of the Grandees made a grave Address to the Queen of the Country, to desire the Northern Men to settle Matters first, and to tell them, that when that was done, they should see what these would do for them. This was a home Stroke, if it had but hit, and the Misfortune only lay in this, That the Northern Men were not Fools enough; the clearness of the Air in those cold Climates generally clearing the Head so early, that those People see much farther into a Mill-stone than any Blind Man in all the Southern Nations of the Moon.
There was an another unhappiness in this Case, which made the Matter yet more confus'd, and that was, that the Souldiers had generally no gust to this War.--- This was an odd Case; for those sort of Gentlemen, especially in the World in the Moon, don't use to enquire into the Justice of the Case they Fight for, but they reckon 'tis their Business to go where they are sent, and kill any Body they are order'd to kill, leaving their Governors to answer for the Justice of it; but there was another Reason to be given why the Men of the Sword were so averse, and always talk't coldly of the fighting Part, and tho' the Northern Men call'd it fear, yet I cannot joyn with them in that, for to fear requires Thinking; and some of our Solunarians are absolutely protected from the first, because they never meddle with the last, except when they come to the Engine, and therefore 'tis plain it could not proceed from Fear.
It has puzzl'd the most discerning Heads of the Age, to give a Reason from whence this Aversion proceeded, and various Judgments have been given of it.
The Nolunarians jested with them, and when they talk't of Fighting, bad them look back into History, and examine what they ever made of a Nolunarian War, and whether they had not been often well beaten, and sent short home, bid them have a care of catching a Tartar, as we call it, and always made themselves merry with it.
They banter'd the Solunarians too, about the Fears and Terrors they were under, from their Arming themselves, and putting themselves in a posture of Defence,----- When it was easy to see by the nature of the thing, that their Design was not a War, but a Union upon just Conditions, that it was a plain Token that they design'd either to put some affront upon the Nolunarians, to deny them some just Claims, or to impose something very Provoking upon them more than they had yet done, that they were so exceeding fearful of an Invasion from them.
Tho' these were sufficient to pass for Reasons in other Cases, yet it could not be so here, but I saw there must be something else in it. As I was thus wondering at this unusual backwardness of the Souldiers, I enquir'd a little farther into the meaning of it, and quickly found the Reason was plain, there was nothing to be got by it, that People were Brave, Desperate and Poor, the Country Barren, Mountainous and Empty, so that in short there would be nothing but Blows, and Souldiers Fellows to be had, and I always observ'd that Souldiers never care to be knockt on the Head, and get nothing by the Bargain.
In short, I saw plainly the Reasons that prompted the Solunarians to Insult their Neighbours of the North, were more deriv'd from the regret at their Establishing Crolianism, than at any real Causes they had given, or indeed were in a condition to give them.
These, and abundance more particular Observations I made, but as I left the thing still in agitation, and undetermin'd, I shall refer it to another Voyage which I purpose to make thither, and at my return, may perhaps set that Case in a clearer Light than our Sight can yet bear to look at it in.
If in my second Vovage I should undeceive People in the Notions they entertain'd of those Northern People, and convince them that the Solunarians were really the Aggressors, and had put great hardships upon them, I might possibly do a Work, that if it met with Encouragement, might bring the Solunarians to do them Justice, and that would set all to Rights, the two Nations might easily become one, and Unite for ever, or at least become Friends, and give mutual Assistance to each other; and I cannot but own such an Agreement would make them both very formidable, but this I refer to another time.-----
At the same time I cannot leave it without a Remark that this Jealousy between the two Nations, may perhaps in future Ages be necessary to be maintain'd, in order to find some better Reasons for Fortifications, Standing Armies, Guards and Garisons than could be given in the Reign of the great Prince I speak of, the Queen's Predecessor, tho' his was against Forreign insulting Enemy.
But the Temper of the Solunarian High Party was always such, that they would with much more case give thanks for a Standing Army against the Nolunarians and Crolians, than agree to one Legion against the Abrogratzians and Gallunarians.
But of these Things I am also promis'd a more particular Account upon my Journy into that Country.
I cannot however conclude this Matter, without giving some Account of my private Observations, upon what was farther to be seen in this Country.
And had not my Remarks on their State Matters taken up more of my Thoughts than I expected, I might have entred a little upon their other Affairs, such as their Companies, their Commerce, their Publick Offices, their Stock-Jobbers, their Temper, their Conversation, their Women, their Stages, Universities, their Courtiers, their Clergy, and the Characters of the severals under all these Denominations, but these must be referr'd to time, and my more perfect Observations.
But I cannot omit, that tho' I have very little Knowledge of Books, and had obtain'd less upon their Language, yet I could not but be very inquisitive after their Libraries and Men of Letters.
Among their Libraries I found not abundance of their own Books, their Learning having so much of Demonstration, and being very Hieroglyphical, but I found to my great Admiration vast quantities of Translated Books out of all Languages of our World.
As I thought my self one of the first, at least of our Nation, that ever came thus far; it was, you may be sure no small surprize to me to find all the most valluable parts of Modern Learning, especially of Politicks, Translated from our Tongue, into the Lunar Dialect, and stor'd up in their Libraries with the Remarks, Notes and Observations of the Learned Men of that Climate upon the Subject.
Here, among a vast croud of French Authors condemn'd in this polite World for trifling, came a huge Volume containing, Les Oevres de scavans, which has 19 small Bells painted upon the Book of several disproportion'd sizes.
I enquir'd the meaning of that Hieroglyphick, which the Master of the Books told me, was to signify that the substance was all Jingle and Noise, and that of 30 Volumes which that one Book contains, 29 of them have neither Substance, Musick, Harmony nor value in them.
The History of the Fulsoms, or a Collection of 300 fine Speeches made in the French Accademy at Paris, and 1500 gay Flourishes out of Monsieur Boileau, all in Praise of the invincible Monarch of France.
The Duke of Bavaria's Manifesto, shewing the Right of making War against our Sovereigns, from whence the People of that Lunar World have noted that the same Reasons which made it lawful to him to attempt the Imperial Power, entitle him to lose his own, viz. Conquest, and the longest Sword.
Jack a both Sides, or a Dialogue between Pasquin and Marforio, upon the Subject Matter of the Pope's sincerity in Case of the War in Italy. Written by a Citizen of Ferrara. One side arguing upon the occasion of the Pope's General wheedling the Imperialists to quit that Country. The other bantering Imperial Policy, or the Germains pretending they were Trickt out of Italy, when they could stay there no longer.
Lewis the Invincible, by Monsieur Boileau. A Poem, on the Glory of his most Christian Majesties Arms at Hochstedt, and Verue.
All these Translations have innumerable Hyerogliphical Notes, and Emblems painted on them, which pass as Comments, and are readily understood in that Climate. For Example, on the Vol. of Dialogues are two Cardinals washing the Pope's Hands under a Cloud that often bespatters them with Blood, signifying that in spight of all his Pretensions he has a Hand in the Broils of Italy. And before him the Sun setting in a Cloud, and a Blind Ballad-Singer making Sonnets upon the brightness of its Lustre.
The three Kings of Brentford, being some Historical Observations on three mighty Monarchs in our World, whose Heroick Actions may be the Subject of future Ages, being like to do little in this, the King of England, King of Poland, and King of Spain. These are describ'd by a Figure, representing a Castle in the Air, and three Knights pointing at it, but they could not catch.
I omit abundance of very excellent pieces, because remote, as three great Volumes of European Misteries, among the vast varieties of which, and very entertaining, I observ'd but a few, such as these:
1. Why Prince Ragotski will make no Peace with the Emperor.--- But more particularly why the Emperor won't make Peace with him.
2. Where the Policy of the King of Sweden lies, to persue the King of Poland, and let the Muscovites ravage and destroy his own Subjects.
3. What the Duke of Bavaria propos'd to himself in declaring for France.
4. Why the Protestants of the Confederacy never reliev'd the Camisars.
5. Why there are no Cowards found in the English Service, but among their Sea Captains.
6. Why the King of Portugal did not take Madrid, why the English did not take Cadiz, and why the Spaniards did not take Gibraltar, viz. because the first were Fools, the second Knaves, and the last Spaniards.
7. What became of all the Silver taken at Vigo.
8. Who will be the next King of Scotland.
9. If England should ever want a King, who would think it worth while to accept of it.
10. What specifick difference can be produc'd between a Knave, a Coward, and a Traytor.
Abundance of these Mysteries are Hieroglyphically describ'd in this ample Collection, and without doubt our great Collection of Annals, and Historical Observations, particularly the Learned Mr. Walker, would make great Improvements there.
But to come nearer home, There, to my great Amasement, I found several new Tracts out of our own Language, which I could hardly have imagin'd it possible should have reacht so far.
As first, sundry Transactions of our Royal Society about Winds, and a valuable Desertation of Dr. B.....'s about Wind in the Brain.
A Discourse of Poisons, by the Learned Dr. M..... with Lunar Notes upon it, wherein it appears that Dr. C....d had more Poison in his Tongue, than all the Adders the Moon have in their Teeth.
Nec Non, or Lawyers Latin turn'd into Lunar Burlesque. The Hyerogliphick was the Queens Mony tost in a Blanket, Dedicated to the Attorney General, and five false Latin Councellors.
Mandamus, as it was Acted at Abb...ton Assizes, by Mr. So....r General, where the Qu..n had her own So...r against her for a bad Cause, and never a Counsel for her in a good one.
Lunar Reflections, being a List of about 2000 ridiculous Errors in History, palpable Falsities, and scandalous Omissions in Mr. Collier's Geographical Dictionary; with a subsequent Enquiry by way of Appendix, into which are his own, and which he has ignorantly deduc'd from ancient Authors.
Assassination and Killing of Kings, prov'd to be a Church of England Doctrin; humbly Dedicated to the Prince of Wales, by Mr. Collier and Mr. Snat; wherein their Absolving Sir John Friend and Sir William Parkins without Repentance, and while they both own'd and justify'd the Fact, is Vindicated and Defended.
Les Bagatelles, or Brom..ys Travels into Italy, a choice Book, and by great Accident preserv'd from the malitious Design of the Author, who diligently Bought up the whole Impression, for fear they should be seen, as a thing of which this ungrateful Age was not worthy.
Killing no Murther, being an Account of the severe Justice design'd to be inflicted on the barbarous Murtherers of the honest Constable at Bow, but unhappily prevented by my Lord N.....m being turn'd out of his Office.
De modo Belli, or an Account of the best Method of making Conquests and Invasion a la Mode de Port St. Mary, 3 Volumes in 80. Dedicated to Sir Hen. Bell...s.
King Charles the first prov'd a T...t. By Edward Earl of Clarendon, 3 Vol. in Fol. Dedicated to the University of Oxford.
The Bawdy Poets, or new and accurate Editions of Catullus, Propertius, and Tibullus, being the Maiden-head of the new Printing Press at Cambridge, Dedicated by the Editor Mr. Ann...y to the University, and in consideration of which, and some Disorders near Casterton, the University thought him fit to represent them in P......t.
Alms no Charity, or the Skeleton of Sir Humphry Mackworth's Bill for relief of the Poor: Being an excellent new Contrivance to find Employment for all the Poor in the Nation, viz. By setting them at Work, to make all the rest of the People as Poor as themselves.
Synodicum Superlativum, being sixteen large Volumes of the vigorous Proceedings of the English Convocation, digested into Years, one Volume to every Year. -- Wherein are several large Lists of the Heretical, Atheistical, Deistical and other pernitious Errors which have been Condemn'd in that Venerable Assembly, the various Services done, and weighty Matters dispatcht, for the Honour of the English Church, for sixteen Years last past, with their formal Proceedings against Asgil, Coward, Toland and others, for reviving old Antiquated Errors in Doctrine, and Publishing them to the World as their own.
New Worlds in Trade, being a vast Collection out of the Journals of the Proceedings of the Right Honourable the Commissioners of Trade, with several Eminent Improvements in general Negoce, vast Schemes of Business, and new Discoveries of Settlements and Correspondences in Forreign Parts, for the Honour and Advantage of the English Merchants, being 12 Volumes in Fol. and very scarce and valluable Books.
Legal Rebellion, or an Argument proving that all sorts of Insurrections of Subjects against their Princes, are lawful, and to be supported whenever they suit with our Occasions, made good from the Practice of France with the Hungarians, the English with the Camisars, the Swede with the Poles, the Emperor with the Subjects of Naples, and all the Princes of the World as they find occasion, a large Volume in Folio, with a Poem upon the Sacred Right of Kingly Power.
Ignis Fatuus or the Occasional Bill in Minature, a Farce, as it was acted by his Excellency the Lord Gr...il's Servants in Carolina.
Running away the shortest way to Victory, being a large Dissertation, shewing to save the Queens Ships, is the best way to beat the French.
The Tookites, a Poem upon the 134.
A new Tract upon Trade, being a Demonstration that to be always putting the People upon customary Mourning, and wearing Black upon every State Occasion, is an excellent Encouragement to Trade, and a means to employ the Poor.
City Gratitude, being a Poem on the Statue erected by the Court of Aldermen at the upper end of Cheapside, to the Immortal Memory of King William.
There were many more Tracts to be found in this place; but these may suffice for a Specimen, and to excite all Men that would encrease their Understandings in humane Mysteries, to take a Voyage to this enlightned Country. Where their Memories, thinking Faculties and Penetration, will no question be so Tackt and Consolidated, that when they return, they all Write Memoirs of the Place, and communicate to their Country the Advantages they have reapt by their Voyage, according to the laudable Example of their
Most humble Servant,
The Man in the Moon.
End Of The Project Gutenberg Ebook Of The Consolidator