English Fairy and Other Folk Tales
by Edwin Sidney Hartland - 1892
STUPID'S MISTAKEN CRIES
Folk-Lore Record, vol. iii. p 153.
THERE was once a little boy, and his mother sent him to buy a sheep's head and pluck; afraid he should forget it, the lad kept saying all the way along:
"Sheep's head and pluck!
Sheep's head and pluck!"
Trudging along, he came to a stile; but in getting over he fell and hurt himself, and, beginning to blubber, forgot what he was sent for. So he stood a little while to consider; at last he thought he recollected it, and began to repeat:
"Liver and lights and gall and all!
Liver and lights and gall and all!"
Away he went again, and came to where a man was sick, bawling out:
"Liver and lights and gall and all!
Liver and lights and gall and all!"
Whereon the man laid hold of him and beat him, bidding him say:
"Pray God send no more up!
Pray God send no more up!"
The youngster strode along, uttering these words, till he reached a field where a hind was sowing wheat:
"Pray God send no more up!
Pray God send no more up!"
This was all his cry. So the sower began to thrash him, and charged him to repeat:
"Pray God send plenty more!
Pray God send plenty more!
Off the child scampered with these words in his mouth till he reached a churchyard and met a funeral, but he went on with his:
"Pray God send plenty more!
Pray God send plenty more!"
The chief mourner seized and punished him, and bade him repeat:
"Pray God send the soul to heaven!
Pray God send the soul to heaven!"
Away went the boy, and met a dog and a bitch going to be hung, but his cry rang out:
"Pray God send the soul to heaven!
Pray God send the soul to heaven!"
The good folk nearly were furious, seized and struck him, charging him to say:
"A dog and a bitch agoing to be hung!
A dog and a bitch agoing to be hung!"
This the poor fellow did, till he overtook a man and a woman going to be married. "Oh! oh!" he shouted:
"A dog and a bitch agoing to be hung!
A dog and a bitch agoing to be hung!"
The man was enraged, as we may well think, gave him many a thump, and ordered him to repeat:
"I wish you much joy!
I wish you much joy!"
This he did, jogging along, till he came to two labourers who had fallen into a ditch. The lad kept bawling out:
"I wish you much joy!
I wish you much joy!"
This vexed one of the folk so sorely that he used all his strength, scrambled out, beat the crier, and told him to say:
"The one is out, I wish the other was!
The one is out, I wish the other was!"
On went young 'un till he found a fellow with only one eye; but he kept up his song:
"The one is out, I wish the other was!
The one is out, I wish the other was!"
This was too much for Master One-eye, who grabbed him and chastised him, bidding him call:
"The one side gives good light, I wish the other did!
The one side gives good light, I wish the other did!"
So he did, to be sure, till he came to a house, one side of which was on fire. The people here thought it was he who had set the place a-blazing, and straightway put him in prison. The end was, the judge put on his black cap, and condemned him to die.
Next: The Three Sillies