Can Such Things Be? By Ambrose Bierce
BEYOND THE WALL
Many years ago, on my way from Hongkong to New York, I assed a
week in San Francisco. A long time had gone by since I had been
in that city, during which my ventures in the Orient had
prospered beyond my hope; I was rich and could afford to revisit
my own country to renew my friendship with such of the companions
of my youth as still lived and remembered me with the old
affection. Chief of these, I hoped, was Mohun Dampier, an old
schoolmate with whom I had held a desultory correspondence which
had long ceased, as is the way of correspondence between men.
You may have observed that the indisposition to write a merely
social letter is in the ratio of the square of the distance
between you and your correspondent. It is a law.
I remembered Dampier as a handsome, strong young fellow of
scholarly tastes, with an aversion to work and a marked
indifference to many of the things that the world cares for,
including wealth, of which, however, he had inherited enough to
put him beyond the reach of want. In his family, one of the
oldest and most aristocratic in the country, it was, I think, a
matter of pride that no member of it had ever been in trade nor
politics, nor suffered any kind of distinction. Mohun was a
trifle sentimental, and had in him a singular element of
superstition, which led him to the study of all manner of occult
subjects, although his sane mental health safeguarded him against
fantastic and perilous faiths. He made daring incursions into
the realm of the unreal without renouncing his residence in the
partly surveyed and charted region of what we are pleased to call
certitude.
The night of my visit to him was stormy. The Californian winter
was on, and the incessant rain plashed in the deserted streets,
or, lifted by irregular gusts of wind, was hurled against the
houses with incredible fury. With no small difficulty my cabman
found the right place, away out toward the ocean beach, in a
sparsely populated suburb. The dwelling, a rather ugly one,
apparently, stood in the center of its grounds, which as nearly
as I could make out in the gloom were destitute of either flowers
or grass. Three or four trees, writhing and moaning in the
torment of the tempest, appeared to be trying to escape from
their dismal environment and take the chance of finding a better
one out at sea. The house was a two-story brick structure with a
tower, a story higher, at one corner. In a window of that was
the only visible light. Something in the appearance of the place
made me shudder, a performance that may have been assisted by a
rill of rain-water down my back as I scuttled to cover in the
doorway.
In answer to my note apprising him of my wish to call, Dampier
had written, “Don’t ring - open the door and come
up.” I did so. The staircase was dimly lighted by a
single gas-jet at the top of the second flight. I managed to
reach the landing without disaster and entered by an open door
into the lighted square room of the tower. Dampier came forward
in gown and slippers to receive me, giving me the greeting that I
wished, and if I had held a thought that it might more fitly have
been accorded me at the front door the first look at him
dispelled any sense of his inhospitality.
He was not the same. Hardly past middle age, he had gone gray
and had acquired a pronounced stoop. His figure was thin and
angular, his face deeply lined, his complexion dead-white,
without a touch of color. His eyes, unnaturally large, glowed
with a fire that was almost uncanny.
He seated me, proffered a cigar, and with grave and obvious
sincerity assured me of the pleasure that it gave him to meet
me. Some unimportant conversation followed, but all the while I
was dominated by a melancholy sense of the great change in him.
This he must have perceived, for he suddenly said with a bright
enough smile, “You are disappointed in me - non sum
qualis eram.”
I hardly knew what to reply, but managed to say: “Why,
really, I don’t know: your Latin is about the
same.”
He brightened again. “No,” he said, “being a
dead language, it grows in appropriateness. But please have the
patience to wait: where I am going there is perhaps a better
tongue. Will you care to have a message in it?”
The smile faded as he spoke, and as he concluded he was looking
into my eyes with a gravity that distressed me. Yet I would not
surrender myself to his mood, nor permit him to see how deeply
his prescience of death affected me.
“I fancy that it will be long,” I said, “before
human speech will cease to serve our need; and then the need,
with its possibilities of service, will have passed.”
He made no reply, and I too was silent, for the talk had taken a
dispiriting turn, yet I knew not how to give it a more agreeable
character. Suddenly, in a pause of the storm, when the dead
silence was almost startling by contrast with the previous
uproar, I heard a gentle tapping, which appeared to come from the
wall behind my chair. The sound was such as might have been made
by a human hand, not as upon a door by one asking admittance, but
rather, I thought, as an agreed signal, an assurance of
someone’s presence in an adjoining room; most of us, I
fancy, have had more experience of such communications than we
should care to relate. I glanced at Dampier. If possibly there
was something of amusement in the look he did not observe it. He
appeared to have forgotten my presence, and was staring at the
wall behind me with an expression in his eyes that I am unable to
name, although my memory of it is as vivid to-day as was my sense
of it then. The situation was embarrassing; I rose to take my
leave. At this he seemed to recover himself.
“Please be seated,” he said; “it is nothing -
no one is there.”
But the tapping was repeated, and with the same gentle, slow
insistence as before.
“Pardon me,” I said, “it is late. May I call
to-morrow?”
He smiled - a little mechanically, I thought. “It is very
delicate of you,” said he, “but quite needless.
Really, this is the only room in the tower, and no one is there.
At least - ” He left the sentence incomplete, rose, and
threw up a window, the only opening in the wall from which the
sound seemed to come. “See.”
Not clearly knowing what else to do I followed him to the window
and looked out. A street-lamp some little distance away gave
enough light through the murk of the rain that was again falling
in torrents to make it entirely plain that “no one was
there.” In truth there was nothing but the sheer blank
wall of the tower.
Dampier closed the window and signing me to my seat resumed his
own.
The incident was not in itself particularly mysterious; any one
of a dozen explanations was possible (though none has occurred to
me), yet it impressed me strangely, the more, perhaps, from my
friend’s effort to reassure me, which seemed to dignify it
with a certain significance and importance. He had proved that
no one was there, but in that fact lay all the interest; and he
proffered no explanation. His silence was irritating and made me
resentful.
“My good friend,” I said, somewhat ironically, I
fear, “I am not disposed to question your right to harbor
as many spooks as you find agreeable to your taste and consistent
with your notions of companionship; that is no business of mine.
But being just a plain man of affairs, mostly of this world, I
find spooks needless to my peace and comfort. I am going to my
hotel, where my fellow-guests are still in the
flesh.”
It was not a very civil speech, but he manifested no feeling
about it. “Kindly remain,” he said. “I am
grateful for your presence here. What you have heard to-night I
believe myself to have heard twice before. Now I know it
was no illusion. That is much to me - more than you know. Have
a fresh cigar and a good stock of patience while I tell you the
story.”
The rain was now falling more steadily, with a low, monotonous
susurration, interrupted at long intervals by the sudden slashing
of the boughs of the trees as the wind rose and failed. The
night was well advanced, but both sympathy and curiosity held me
a willing listener to my friend’s monologue, which I did
not interrupt by a single word from beginning to end.
“Ten years ago,” he said, “I occupied a
ground-floor apartment in one of a row of houses, all alike, away
at the other end of the town, on what we call Rincon Hill. This
had been the best quarter of San Francisco, but had fallen into
neglect and decay, partly because the primitive character of its
domestic architecture no longer suited the maturing tastes of our
wealthy citizens, partly because certain public improvements had
made a wreck of it. The row of dwellings in one of which I lived
stood a little way back from the street, each having a miniature
garden, separated from its neighbors by low iron fences and
bisected with mathematical precision by a box-bordered gravel
walk from gate to door.
“One morning as I was leaving my lodging I observed a young
girl entering the adjoining garden on the left. It was a warm
day in June, and she was lightly gowned in white. From her
shoulders hung a broad straw hat profusely decorated with flowers
and wonderfully beribboned in the fashion of the time. My
attention was not long held by the exquisite simplicity of her
costume, for no one could look at her face and think of anything
earthly. Do not fear; I shall not profane it by description; it
was beautiful exceedingly. All that I had ever seen or dreamed
of loveliness was in that matchless living picture by the hand of
the Divine Artist. So deeply did it move me that, without a
thought of the impropriety of the act, I unconsciously bared my
head, as a devout Catholic or well-bred Protestant uncovers
before an image of the Blessed Virgin. The maiden showed no
displeasure; she merely turned her glorious dark eyes upon me
with a look that made me catch my breath, and without other
recognition of my act passed into the house. For a moment I
stood motionless, hat in hand, painfully conscious of my
rudeness, yet so dominated by the emotion inspired by that vision
of incomparable beauty that my penitence was less poignant than
it should have been. Then I went my way, leaving my heart
behind. In the natural course of things I should probably have
remained away until nightfall, but by the middle of the afternoon
I was back in the little garden, affecting an interest in the few
foolish flowers that I had never before observed. My hope was
vain; she did not appear.
“To a night of unrest succeeded a day of expectation and
disappointment, but on the day after, as I wandered aimlessly
about the neighborhood, I met her. Of course I did not repeat my
folly of uncovering, nor venture by even so much as too long a
look to manifest an interest in her; yet my heart was beating
audibly. I trembled and consciously colored as she turned her
big black eyes upon me with a look of obvious recognition
entirely devoid of boldness or coquetry.
“I will not weary you with particulars; many times
afterward I met the maiden, yet never either addressed her or
sought to fix her attention. Nor did I take any action toward
making her acquaintance. Perhaps my forbearance, requiring so
supreme an effort of self-denial, will not be entirely clear to
you. That I was heels over head in love is true, but who can
overcome his habit of thought, or reconstruct his
character?
“I was what some foolish persons are pleased to call, and
others, more foolish, are pleased to be called - an aristocrat;
and despite her beauty, her charms and graces, the girl was not
of my class. I had learned her name - which it is needless to
speak - and something of her family. She was an orphan, a
dependent niece of the impossible elderly fat woman in whose
lodging-house she lived. My income was small and I lacked the
talent for marrying; it is perhaps a gift. An alliance with that
family would condemn me to its manner of life, part me from my
books and studies, and in a social sense reduce me to the ranks.
It is easy to deprecate such considerations as these and I have
not retained myself for the defense. Let judgment be entered
against me, but in strict justice all my ancestors for
generations should be made co-defendants and I be permitted to
plead in mitigation of punishment the imperious mandate of
heredity. To a mésalliance of that kind every globule of
my ancestral blood spoke in opposition. In brief, my tastes,
habits, instinct, with whatever of reason my love had left me -
all fought against it. Moreover, I was an irreclaimable
sentimentalist, and found a subtle charm in an impersonal and
spiritual relation which acquaintance might vulgarize and
marriage would certainly dispel. No woman, I argued, is what
this lovely creature seems. Love is a delicious dream; why
should I bring about my own awakening?
“The course dictated by all this sense and sentiment was
obvious. Honor, pride, prudence, preservation of my ideals - all
commanded me to go away, but for that I was too weak. The utmost
that I could do by a mighty effort of will was to cease meeting
the girl, and that I did. I even avoided the chance encounters
of the garden, leaving my lodging only when I knew that she had
gone to her music lessons, and returning after nightfall. Yet
all the while I was as one in a trance, indulging the most
fascinating fancies and ordering my entire intellectual life in
accordance with my dream. Ah, my friend, as one whose actions
have a traceable relation to reason, you cannot know the
fool’s paradise in which I lived.
“One evening the devil put it into my head to be an
unspeakable idiot. By apparently careless and purposeless
questioning I learned from my gossipy landlady that the young
woman’s bedroom adjoined my own, a party-wall between.
Yielding to a sudden and coarse impulse I gently rapped on the
wall. There was no response, naturally, but I was in no mood to
accept a rebuke. A madness was upon me and I repeated the folly,
the offense, but again ineffectually, and I had the decency to
desist.
“An hour later, while absorbed in some of my infernal
studies, I heard, or thought I heard, my signal answered.
Flinging down my books I sprang to the wall and as steadily as my
beating heart would permit gave three slow taps upon it. This
time the response was distinct, unmistakable: one, two, three -
an exact repetition of my signal. That was all I could elicit,
but it was enough - too much.
“The next evening, and for many evenings afterward, that
folly went on, I always having ‘the last word.’
During the whole period I was deliriously happy, but with the
perversity of my nature I persevered in my resolution not to see
her. Then, as I should have expected, I got no further answers.
‘She is disgusted,’ I said to myself, ‘with
what she thinks my timidity in making no more definite
advances’; and I resolved to seek her and make her
acquaintance and - what? I did not know, nor do I now know, what
might have come of it. I know only that I passed days and days
trying to meet her, and all in vain; she was invisible as well as
inaudible. I haunted the streets where we had met, but she did
not come. From my window I watched the garden in front of her
house, but she passed neither in nor out. I fell into the
deepest dejection, believing that she had gone away, yet took no
steps to resolve my doubt by inquiry of my landlady, to whom,
indeed, I had taken an unconquerable aversion from her having
once spoken of the girl with less of reverence than I thought
befitting.
“There came a fateful night. Worn out with emotion,
irresolution and despondency, I had retired early and fallen into
such sleep as was still possible to me. In the middle of the
night something - some malign power bent upon the wrecking of my
peace forever - caused me to open my eyes and sit up, wide awake
and listening intently for I knew not what. Then I thought I
heard a faint tapping on the wall - the mere ghost of the
familiar signal. In a few moments it was repeated: one, two,
three - no louder than before, but addressing a sense alert and
strained to receive it. I was about to reply when the Adversary
of Peace again intervened in my affairs with a rascally
suggestion of retaliation. She had long and cruelly ignored me;
now I would ignore her. Incredible fatuity - may God forgive
it! All the rest of the night I lay awake, fortifying my
obstinacy with shameless justifications and - listening.
“Late the next morning, as I was leaving the house, I met
my landlady, entering.
“‘Good morning, Mr. Dampier,’ she said.
‘Have you heard the news?’
“I replied in words that I had heard no news; in manner,
that I did not care to hear any. The manner escaped her
observation.
“‘About the sick young lady next door,’ she
babbled on. ‘What! you did not know? Why, she has been
ill for weeks. And now - ’
“I almost sprang upon her. ‘And now,’ I cried,
‘now what?’
“‘She is dead.’
“That is not the whole story. In the middle of the night,
as I learned later, the patient, awakening from a long stupor
after a week of delirium, had asked - it was her last utterance -
that her bed be moved to the opposite side of the room. Those in
attendance had thought the request a vagary of her delirium, but
had complied. And there the poor passing soul had exerted its
failing will to restore a broken connection - a golden thread of
sentiment between its innocence and a monstrous baseness owning a
blind, brutal allegiance to the Law of Self.
“What reparation could I make? Are there masses that can
be said for the repose of souls that are abroad such nights as
this - spirits ‘blown about by the viewless winds’ -
coming in the storm and darkness with signs and portents, hints
of memory and presages of doom?
“This is the third visitation. On the first occasion I was
too skeptical to do more than verify by natural methods the
character of the incident; on the second, I responded to the
signal after it had been several times repeated, but without
result. To-night’s recurrence completes the ‘fatal
triad’ expounded by Parapelius Necromantius. There is no
more to tell.”
When Dampier had finished his story I could think of nothing
relevant that I cared to say, and to question him would have been
a hideous impertinence. I rose and bade him good night in a way
to convey to him a sense of my sympathy, which he silently
acknowledged by a pressure of the hand. That night, alone with
his sorrow and remorse, he passed into the Unknown.
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